Recalibrating As A Parent

Parenting is hard.

It is no doubt a worthwhile struggle. I personally derive so much joy and pleasure from being mother to my son, Devin. Some days I just look at him and think, how on earth are you a real human?

And, yet, he is.

I also don't generally mind the immense amount of work that goes into being a mother. Yes, some days are harder than others. I won’t gloss over those. But I love being able to witness growth. But if I am being honest about my struggle, the thing I find hardest is how to not react disproportionately when Devin shows up in ways that are below what I know he is capable of. Translation- he sometimes shows up as a kid. For as long as I can remember, he’s been more like an adult trapped in a child’s body, so it trips me up at times.

For those of you that know me, you know I can be patient with adults all day long. But I have historically expected children to comprehend and (rather quickly) integrate learning with little room for failure or inconsistency. I have historically forgotten that consistency is a muscle that needs to be built and flexed.

I say “historically” because it is definitely the preeminent goal for my own personal growth. Well, that and letting go. But I’m working on showing up as a parent in a non-reactionary way. I would like to show up fully centered and fully present. That’s the growth trajectory I am aiming for.

And you know what is so interesting? I am not consistent at this yet. The irony isn't lost on me. In fact, I find this really, really difficult.

My work in Somatics has really spearheaded massive growth in my own development, as well as the way in which I engage with the world around me. It also stands to make a huge impact on my parenting. I recently deep dove into Wendy Palmer’s work on Embodied Leadership and what I discovered was a Somatic approach to listening and responding from a Centered place.

She writes about body alignment when standing and sitting, essentially putting your body into neutral upright position so as to receive information and process it without personal projection. And that caused a deep-dive into my most recent reactions to some of Devin’s more child-like blunders.

And I hurt for him.

I love when my work can directly impact on my own life. As humans, we are always learning. Each day I step further on my soul-path of coaching and healing, I find a little more light to bring home. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t learning by living and making mistakes. Sometimes again and again until the lesson is learned or I am forced to go back to the drawing board. It is times like this that I realize we are not so different from our children.